May 23, 2018. I am flying to Boston ahead of my family, to attend Katharine’s graduation from Brown University. Katharine is Will’s daughter from his previous marriage. I like to think she is mine as well. I’ve known her for well over half her life. She is a remarkable girl who has been through a lot.
I head out early because I have a second opinion scheduled at Mass General. Now, I know what you are thinking. WHY THEY HECK ARE YOU DOING THIS!!??? AFTER THE DISASTER IN SF!
Well, the problem is, this one was scheduled first. Mass General was going to be my second opinion. My friend Christy, the one who’s sister is a neurosurgeon and did back to back fellowships and was Chief Resident of Neurosurgery at Mass General, along side my surgeon Dr. Patel, was going to set me up. Dr. Patel agreed on this one as he knew all the players involved at Mass General and had great faith in them.
I had great faith in Dr. Patel’s opinion, and I had great faith in Christy’s unbelievably talented sister Pamela.
But we are nothing if not quick learners…we cancel the appointment with Pamela to see her for a surgical consult (since we have already had it) –and she instead set me up with a good friend of hers, this remarkable young, energetic and amazing mother of two, who happens to be a neuro oncologist.
Will couldn’t fly early with me as we didn’t want to take the kids out of school for three days. So enter my friend Meghan. Meghan has been one of my closest friends for 15 years. She is remarkable. A professor at Harvard, former National Security Advisor to President Bush, author of several books on US policy in the Middle East, and just released her newest book Windfall: How the New Energy Abundance Upends lobal Politics and Strengthens America’s Power.
Yes, we are the Odd Couple.
While she literally writes and worries nonstop about policies in the Middle East and beyond, I have just finished reading Class Mom, a hilarious, fictitious but oh so real story about a mom who is the class parent for her kinder child’s class in a local elementary school. It’s like The Devil Wears Prada meets the Lululemon moms of private schools.
But it works. (our friendship)
She is an intellectual on steroids, her life to me, surreal. She meets with Presidents and Prime Minsters from all over the globe, Kings of Kingdoms, and some of the most famous people on earth. She is coming with me to the doctor. (yet again another reason I know I am possibly the luckiest woman on earth…amazing friends).
We go. The meeting was great. The oncologist was spectacular and finally…we got what we wanted. A second opinion from an incredibly well respected, first rate hospital that said: “U of W nailed it. I would not change anything. You need radiation with concurrent chemo for 6 weeks/42 days respectively. Then 12 cycles of adjuvant chemo.
Done! It’s over. We have our game plan!
That evening, Meghan hosted a small dinner for me so I could see our other great friends Michelle and Amy. Both powerhouses. We are all in this group called the Amelia Girls. Why I am still able to participate in this group is beyond me. I am the only one that no longer works. I understand how I was asked 15 years ago…but that was another lifetime ago. I was a working girl doing really well in corporate America. But now I am a mom, who works even longer hours, is paid nothing and has two really adorable sweet and nerve-wracking (at times), bosses.
We call Will with our news. He is happy.
Happy.
How are we both so happy that yes, it is true, I for sure have a malignant brain cancer, need to have my brain radiated for six weeks straight while doing chemo…and then basically another year of chemo.
Life can truly be stranger than fiction.
We are relieved. The only problem now is I want to start the day we get home from graduation, Monday, May 28th. But I can’t as it is Memorial Day. So, lets start on Tuesday, May 29th….the day before Katharine and ten of her friends descend on Seattle and head to the San Juans for a week break to celebrate their graduating from college.
Will is stressed at the idea of his wife starting chemo AND radiation (period, full stop. He is completely unnerved by it…it is happening to quickly) all while Katharine and friends are here. Truth be told, I didn’t make it easy on him. I was all for Katharine and the friends coming…thrilled actually. However, I didn’t think, due to nerves, I could handle 10 kids in the house, plus we can’t house them! We don’t live in a big house. And I am not delaying my treatment so that he can get comfortable with ‘all of it’, and focus on his daughter and friends.
I say we do both at the same time.
So we did. Knowing the reality of Orcas and 10 college kids, I knew there wasn’t a need to create some fancy events or make reservations for them. They just want to hang out, laugh, sleep and drink.
I call the chef we had been using since my diagnosis and she prepared a bunch of dinners and lunches for Katharine and her friends…and up to Orcas they went. Will and our son Will also went. We thought it would be important that Will be able to show the kids around, take them out on the boat to go look for the whales and for sea lions etc…they flew up for one or two nights and back home. And I was fine.
It all worked out. They had a great time, and my first week of chemo and radiation was blessedly uneventful. Only five weeks left. We Got This…as my friend Hannah always says.
Why Not Me 