13th Post. Little Stinker

We are exhausted after putting the kids to sleep. They asked if they could sleep in our room. Of course, after hearing this kind of news, who would be surprised…they want to be close to us. So we take Sally’s trundle bed mattress and Will’s top bunk mattress and drag them into our room. This is Tuesday, March 20. I am writing this on Friday, August 10. The two mattresses and children continue to live in our room. Kids are asleep. Now we have to get an email that is going out to the second and fourth grade families via our Head of School ASAP. I can not handle it anymore. I am so emotionally exhausted my head is pounding like it has its own heart beating inside it. Will takes control. He crafts the email. Very direct. Here is the situation, here is how we are handling it, here is what we have told our kids and what we are telling you. Please don’t discuss it with our kids. We have named the bump “Polly” so if you hear about Polly this is what they are talking about. We are not using the “T” word. We need nothing from any of you and we know this is hard news to hear…especially in the second grade. And for the fourth graders and second graders in Will and Sally’s class -they are telling their classmates in the morning…so heads up! Our Head of School Mrs. Elkin was awesome. She was anxious for a communication to distribute to teachers, faculty and parents now that our kids have asked to talk about it with their classmates in the morning. We have to get ahead of it! (see – this is why one can be highly functioning during a time of great stress…so many details and people to protect and communication communication communication!!) We are a very close knit school and community. There is so much good to that, but there are downsides. We want to mitigate any downside (not being open and public about it…letting only a few know…creating an environment ripe for speculation and rumor). It is only human nature. It is not ill intended. People care and people are curious. We just no longer had the time to let everyone know personally. So again, another email goes out. The next morning it is Wednesday, March 21. We have a Second grade coffee at 8:30am in the Great Hall. We finally got our email out to Mrs. Elkin around 10:30pm the night before. We have no idea if it has gone out or not. We don’t know what we are about to walk in on as we enter the Great Hall. Of course, I need to be as chipper and peppy as ever…just in case. I walk in and everything seems totally normal. But all of a sudden I see people looking, assessing, leaning over to each other…just a little. Not a lot…the room is filled with parents we genuinely adore. And then a really good friend of ours comes over and is like “hey!!! how are you guys! I am so excited for tonight!”. To which I say “yes so am I!”….its Kara. Kara is another really important friend in my life. We are having dinner that evening at Kara and Kris’s house…they have friends in town and asked us to join them. I tried to tell Kara the day before (right after we talked to our kids teachers). She was out on the playground as her children, who, like mine, can not seem to get their kids off the school grounds until about 4:15 on a good day (or a rainy day). I walk over to Kara, who has a girlfriend visiting from out of town. Hmmm…probably not the best time. I wait. It’s sort of awkward and finally realizing there is not going to be a moment to talk one on one, I just say “can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” and “it was so nice to meet you!” to her friend. Kara is breath of fresh air. Always is. She looks perfect Every Day…EVERY DAY…it is exhausting being her friend. She just smiles and says “oh this little thing…cheap and cheerful!”. She is beautiful, kind, funny (oh very funny…living in London for so long she really embraced that British humor, dry and sharp as a tack). So Kara walking up to us this way is not a surprise. But I now realize it is Kara who is about to be surprised. I again don’t know when the email went out….but it must not have been last night. It must have been this morning and between getting two little kids ready, teeth brushed, get some food in their stomachs, get them strapped into car seats and boosters,etc…and to school by 8:15? there is NO CHANCE anyone looks at email in the morning on a school day! So, I tell her. I hate to do it there…but we are discreet. Kara is the master of deflection. (which is a whole other story – her 50th b day dinner is a perfect example. But alas, I digress…save that story for another time!) So we are good. We promise to talk about it later…and we did. And then that evening as well at dinner with her husband at their home. So everyone is seated waiting for the presentations to the 2nd grade parents to begin. When two of my favorite teachers and admins come up to me. First there is Greg…well, to me, Greg is just the best. He is our head of admissions and responsible for letting the likes of us, into the school. He just walks up, gives me a hug and calls me “a little stinker”. It was perfect. Of course, another time we would talk more in depth but that is so quintessential Greg. Wants to acknowledge and is so sweet and adorable about it…not making light of it, just sort of releasing to “what the hell IS there to say”…so the Little Stinker was perfect. Then there is the woman all fourth grade families love…and the second grade families (if they don’t have older kids) have no idea the magnificence of. Magistra the Magnificent. She comes over to me and just holds me in this amazing, warm, reassuring embrace. She says “I am so sorry but I just have to hug you. I can not believe this. What can I do. I will do anything”. I just tell her I am okay and all will be well. She and I laugh (as now people are looking because we are between the first row of parents and the stage where the presentations will take place) and she said “I need to tell Jenn Elkin she is not allowed to send emails like this out at 7:30 in the morning!!!” Ah hah! Now we know when it went out. And now we know why some people are looking and others are not. It all makes sense. At this point that is all I want…to make sense of everything. Around 12n and 2pm respectively Mrs. Carley and Mr. Bush each send us an email letting us know that our kids did in fact, share with their classmates, that their mommy had a bump on her brain named Polly and that I was going to have brain surgery. By now we had changed the date to April 5…April 12 just felt a little too far away. If I could wait til April 12 I should be able to wait until April 19 and that would have allowed Will to go to Everest. (Will explains that it wouldn’t have mattered when the surgery was, he was not going to Everest, didn’t want to go to Everest, and wasn’t upset about not going to Everest so for the LOVE OF GOD BETH…please stop talking about EVEREST!) They said we would be proud of our kids as they both did great jobs, were very thoughtful and gave very nice honest answers to the questions they were asked. Who’s surprised? ME. And ridiculously relieved.